Here is a more accurate transcript:
PointsPlayer: …and remember, join a slice as late as possible to minimize the number of players and maximize your odds of placement. And…
WinsPlayer: starts in 1st, after three seed goalposts shifts down to 2nd This isn’t so bad, I’m making good time! May be able to finish PvE as well today!
PointsPlayer: That’s right, make sure you keep your pedal floored. If you let up it’ll–
WinsPlayer: BRB, bio.
PointsPlayer: Nau… kk.
WinsPlayer: Weird, I seem to have gone backwards in time. Odd.
PointsPlayer: shrugs I told you to keep at it. Spend your HP if you’re going to take a break!
WinsPlayer: whines That costs real $$s!
PointsPlayer: So? Like your family was going to eat anyway! Think of the developer’s children!
WinsPlayer: I’m actually making progress… this… this might not be so bad…
WinsPlayer: Odd… I’m. Actually I think I’m slowing down.
PointsPlayer: Floor it.
WinsPlayer: I am! These trucks aren’t letting me through! I have to find a car-shaped gap…
PointsPlayer: Oh I see. Be a truck!
WinsPlayer: I’m a car.
PointsPlayer: Not my problem.
WinsPlayer: Hey! Hey! I’m going to make it! I–HEY! THAT GUY CROSSED THE LINE!! shaking He tried to front-end me… I–ow! Dammit! He’s locked into my bumper!! No! This was a new car! Not the guardrail!!
PointsPlayer: removing oven mitt Sorry, what? I was in the kitchen… closes Line app
WinsPlayer: They… they’re PUSHING ME BACKWARDS!
PointsPlayer: Be a truck?
WinsPlayer: OH GOD! BEES!
Later, WinsPlayer arrives, in reverse, back at the dealership. His car is smoking, leaking fluids and running on two flats. The side panels are scraped and deformed and most of the windows are reduced to tiny bits of plexiglass. Reverse was needed, because the front hood is folded up, blocking the view forward.
WinsPlayer: This car sucks!! I want a refund! And… and.. compensation for my wasted HOURS!!!
PointsPlayer: Sorry, you bought it you own it.
WinsPlayer: This sucks! I’m going back to PvE and never touching this crap again!
PointsPlayer: Aww, don’t be like that, I gotta eat someon-- I mean, you’ve learned a valuable life lesson today!
WinsPlayer: What’s that?
PointsPlayer: Be a truck! Now if you look over here, for only a few thousand–
So, for four hours of my time today I arrived in a very late slice and managed to cross 900. 904 to be exact, using some boosted, champed 4*s. The high-point targets dried up early, so this was done mostly on ~35 valued targets and lots and lots of skipping. Most people are smart enough to get off the damn road when it’s points-season, which reduces the pool to play against, greatly.
It was easy to tell when I crossed the invisible threshold and was open to everyone: about 850 I suddenly started taking hits. Lots of hit. And struggled furiously against those 30-point targets to make up the difference. Walking backwards from 896, then up again, and finally being hit for less than my win and making 901.
I’ve shielded at 843, back to 8th 11th place from 4th. The guy in first shot up to 1449 points within an hour of my run starting, and of course shielded. He has a very nice collection of 5*s, champed OML, etc. That’s a lot of investment. It’s nice to own a sports car.
The rest of us don’t have to drive on your crappy road.
–Khanwulf