Nick Fury presides over a long oval table and several spandex-clad individuals attend his words, “Okay, people. I’m happy to announce that Ultron is nothing more than a scrap heap. We’ve got him boxed up and collecting dust in a secret SHIELD warehouse. I doubt he’ll ever be a threat again.”
“What are you talking about?” Hawkeye asks, balancing a boomerang arrow on one finger. “This is like, the fourth time we’ve fought him. He always comes back.”
“Yeah,” Spider-Man agrees, hanging upside-down above the table. “The security at those secret warehouses of yours must be terrible, Nick.”
“Who cares about Ultron,” Carol Danvers interjects, “It’s those sentries of his that concern me.”
“Everyone pipe down,” Fury commands in a commanding tone, “We’ve got bigger problems, right now. It seems Earth is being invaded by a talking Raccoon and a walking tree.”
Kate Bishop tilts her head confusedly, “You mean Rocket and Groot? They showed up months ago and joined the team. Don’t you remember?”
“Yeah, they’re sitting right there,” Cyclops points towards Rocket & Groot.
Groot grunts, “I am Groot.”
“What did he say?” Iceman asks.
“He said he likes the chicks in Madripoor,” Rocket says casually, loading a ridiculously large gun.
Nick double-checks the SHIELD briefing in his hand, “What the tinykitty?”
Wolverine lights a cigar, “I think your intel is a bit off on this one, bub.”
Nova leans over and gently reminds Logan, “Um, there’s no smoking in here.”
“What’re you gonna do, squirt?” Wolverine puffs his cigar to life, “Shoot me with your finger?”
Miles makes a teasing sound, “Pew! Pew! Pew!” and then laughs.
“Aren’t the Dark Avengers around somewhere?” Electra flips a sai in her hand, “They always make good punching bags.”
“I don’t know…” Sue Storm sounds pessimistic, “It’s getting a little old fighting a four-hundredth level Juggernaut and Ares when they have a green feeder goon.”
“…that’s still better than three sentries…” Carol grumbles under her breath.
Thor refers to himself in the third person, “The Mighty Thor is pleased we do not have to face any ninjas. Those Hand villains are worse than an entire legion of Hel’s demons!”
Nick Fury looks angry, still examining his intelligence briefing, “This clearly says we’re being invaded by a raccoon and a tree!”
“You know what’s really bad?” Tony Stark points at Thor around his martini glass, “Those symbiotes. Remember when they tried to take over New York?”
“Don’t get me started,” a teenaged Jean Grey rolls her eyes, “I was buffed that week. Our agent had my Telekinesis working overtime. ”
“You should take some time off,” Phil Coulson leans over and makes a suggestion to Jean, “I hear Tahiti is nice.”
