Life has caused me to become unshielded and lose my first place ranking in the GSBW PVP. This is entirely unacceptable!!! My daughter is not supposed to be breaking iPads and flooding the bathroom. There is no time for nonsense like this when I’m trying to get a blue IW cover. NONE! The youngest Bacon Pants will be spending her night locked in the basement as punishment.
This is all a joke. (minus the broken iPad and near flooded bathroom) Those two things did happen and it sucks.
The real MPQ metagame - the intersection of real life and MPQ life. Until you’ve aligned your MPQ playing time with feeding a newborn at 3am in Europe to ensure top position in the latest PvE, then you haven’t really reached grand master status.
I thank the heavens every day for my 6 month old girl. She’s a ready made MPQ excuse. I LOVE IT…and her
Speaking of Ipads, did I ever tell you the time I fell asleep playing MPQ with my shirt off and my nipple bought an extra cover slot?
Thank Christ,i felt embarrassed thinking it was just me. I still wont talk to my nipple anymore.
Consider yourselves lucky, MY nipple bought 36 classic hawkeye covers
That’s one talented nipple you have there. I would quite like to meet it one day…too far?
Your nipple has bad taste. I guess it’s a plus that you couldn’t by 36 bagman covers.
Thankfully my 6 year old is done for the night, she has been awful today. The bathroom is cleaned up, the iPad will need a new screen though…that’s going to be a fun fix for me. I’m being serious there, I love repairing stuff like this.
Haha, love this…I’m glad I’m not the only one that does things like the above. I wake up randomly in the middle of the night almost every night. This leads to me playing a few quick rounds because, you know, you HAVE to use those health packs otherwise you are just wasting time. My wife will wake up and ask what I’m doing. I now hang over the edge of the bed to play so she doesn’t see the light on my phone as well. >_>
My newborn gives me a great excuse to go a few rounds in the middle of the night. Great for squeezing a little more iso out of the lightning rounds. I too now sleep with one arm over the side of the bed 
As a heads up for those not in the know. A woken wife is not a happy wife.
I dropped from top-50 to top-200 in the last event, all because life had to take precedence over MPQ.
You’re not really a true MPQ player until your addiction is so bad you have to find creative ways to hide it from your wife. Raise your hand if you’ve done this one - “oh man, I have to go to the bathroom again, don’t feel so good, this could be a while”.
You haven’t lived until you’re sitting on the pot waving your iphone around frantically trying to get a shield connection in your office tower
First one to miss the birth of their next child to finish a LR, wins. Ready, go!
Oh yes, been there! 
Goes for work, too. “Where have you been?” > “Dinner didn’t set well with me…”
Yup, utilizing that “small office” at work alot.
And all the questions if I am not getting enough sleep.
(Bend over my desk looking at phone)
It’s nice that you guys are playing MPQ on your mobile devices. I can’t make excuses like these. It’ll be hard to explain what I was doing in the bathroom with my laptop. 
Going to PAX this weekend, MPQ can wait unless I’m stuck in line with nobody around to MTG with.
Live boldly, claim it’s porn.