During the last meeting of my MPQ roster, all the heroes and villains gathered around a shield-shaped table, Samuel L… Nick Fury stepped to the head.
Nick Fury says, “Okay people, I’m looking for my Alpha Team, I can only take three of you. Our mission is to defeat Norman Osborn and his Dark Avengers”
Moonstone scratches her head, “Uh, why am I here? I AM a Dark Avenger. So are Venom, Ares, Daken, Bullseye, and Ragnarok. This doesn’t make any sense.”
Yelena scowls, “Why didn’t you mention me?”
Captain America stands up, “You’re in our roster. We have to act as a team.”
Wolverine lights a cigar, “Who put flag-boy in charge?”
Doctor Doom folds his arms across his chest, “Doom should be in charge. My intellect is unmatched! Especially without that cursed Reed Richards in the game.”
Sue Storm looks around, “Where are my teammates?”
Peter Parker asks, “What’s Doom doing here? He’s tried to kill us all countless times!”
Black Widow glances towards Peter, “Parker, would you get that bag off your head? You’re totally useless without your classic uniform.”
Thor nods in agreement, “Verily.”
“Forget about Doom,” Daredevil interjects. “He only has two abilities. Magneto is much worse!”
Magneto glares over the crowd, as though superior to all.
“He’s with us, Hornhead,” Wolverine warns, putting on a smoking jacket and an eye patch.
Psylocke looks confused, “Wait, Magneto is a good guy again?”
Storm nods, “Can’t you tell by his grey costume?”
The Punisher glowers, “What am I doing here? This is ridiculous.”
Nick Fury tells him, “You’re here because you fit on every team.”
Loki suddenly stands, “I think I should be on the team.”
The Hulk snorts, “Puny god.”
“I’ll lead the team,” Captain America volunteers. “I’ll make us some defense tiles!”
Daken pops his claws, “We’ll all be dead by the time you get enough yellow. Better to use strike tiles.”
Tony Stark reaches for his drink, “He’s right, Cap. Even my Model 35 armor is a better option for defense tiles, and I haven’t used that armor in ages.”
Magneto suddenly dons his classic red uniform, “Using defense tiles for defense is pointless. We need to attack!”
Black Widow decides, “I want to be on the team, what uniform should I wear?”
The Black Panther chuckles, “You know your original costume is the only one any of us want to see.”
Thor nods in agreement, “Verily.”
Venom’s tongue hangs out, “Partner me with Spider-Man and I will eat our foes like they were a tasty snack!”
Peter Parker waves his palms, “No way, I’m not working with Venom. He stole my costume and now I have to wear this bag over my head.”
Nick Fury sighs, “You have another costume. If you’d just wear it you’d be a lock for any team.”
The Juggernaut suddenly rises, “How come none of you chumps are begging me to be on the team?”
Bullseye balances an arrow on his fingertip, “Because you’re only slightly more useful than me, which isn’t saying much.”
Hawkeye sighs, “Welcome to the club. No one ever picks me unless we’re just hanging out in the Prologue.”
Nick Fury rubs his palm over his scalp, “This isn’t a popularity contest, people. We need a strong team.”
The Hulk slams his fist on the table, “Hulk strongest one there is!”
The Hood suddenly interjects, “Yeah, but your red attack sucks compared to most other people’s.”
“Does anyone have a good yellow ability I can borrow?” Wolverine asks. “Mine was nerfed.”
Ragnarok twitches and sparks, “Zzzzzttzzzzz.”
Ares slams his battle axe down, burying its blade into the table, “I am the god of war! Pick me!”
Storm licks her lips at Ares’ divine biceps, “Ares does have a nice color combination. Almost as good as me in my classic uniform.”
“Thor has a three-star version now,” the Black Panther points out. “Ares is already obsolete, even though he just joined us.”
Thor nods in agreement, “Verily.”
The Punisher glowers, “What am I doing here? This is ridiculous.”
