Now, I know what you’re thinking. This is an off-topic thread about a delightful 1999 comedy movie starring Ben Stiller among others.
However, this thread is not for heaping praise on that cult classic.
No, this thread is about our very own Mystery Men and Women who comprise the sketchy alliance structure of the X-Men. Once upon a time we thought the X-Men to be a bunch of HP rich, unskilled players who would shield up after every battle to post their high scores. A few of their members still fit this model. Look for Slobofix in your Shield Simulator, I bet you she’s shielded. Only 27 more days to go! That’s approximately 8000 HP! Hope it’s worth it for the extra 10 pack. But this thread isn’t about the slightly sketchy players like that. This thread is about the clearly sketchy players.
Time for an example.
Mystery Man - Flo98
You’ve read this bolded line and think to yourself, “who the fuck is that?” Well, that is indeed the question. Let me lay some stats out for you:
141 Modaken
133 3/5/5 LT
103 3/5/5 Sentry
69 3/2/5 Magneto
43 3/5/5 OBW
37 3/4/2 Patch
34 1/1 Nick Fury
15 1/0/0 Spider-Man
15 0/0/1 Mororo
Now, you’re saying: Jozier, why did you cherry pick his roster at random to show he hasn’t levelled everybody? That’s not all that weird, you have a few unlevelled guys yourself.
You’re right! I do! The difference? That is the ENTIRETY of Flo98’s roster. Yes, you heard me correctly. That’s the entirety of the roster. Now what’s even more suspicious: the Purple Fury cover. Let’s all remind ourselves that only the top 100 alliances get a Purple Fury. So how does someone whose entire roster before the last week of season 2 was: LT/Mag/OBW/Patch/Spider-Man (if that) get a purple Fury? What alliance is taking a flier on that craptastic roster for a spot in the top 100?
Alright that’s just one sketchy detail. Let’s examine another. That roster has currently accumulated: 1509 points in Unholy Outlaw. Yes you heard that, a roster that doesn’t even have a single Hood cover (did they sleep through the end of season 2? Again, top 100 alliance in Season 2, but somehow did not even place in the last tournament before the end of the season, or any of the other tournaments giving out the Hood?) You might think, maybe they are HP constrained and can’t afford roster slots so they had to jettison characters. Well, that doesn’t explain hanging on to some random ones, nor is it based in reality: Flo98 is single match shield hopping with another sketch-ball - Kakko. So clearly HP is no object.
Kakko
Now, Kakko. Where did he go? He somehow became GIPSY_DANGER. A name change. That’s random. Also quick work for a CS who took two entire seasons to ban Gbr33, a noted cheater (who was recently sandboxed, vindicating reckless in the process). Curious, but whatever. You can look at the roster for yourself in The X-Men 2. Nothing too crazy. Obviously someone with a crap ton of HP to waste and ISO to buy. But here they are, shield hopping one match at a time with Flo98. And as we addressed above, that is sketchy.
Qamberco?
So you think that’s an isolated incident right? Nope. Another name change. From Qamberco to Electro. Again, odd as we’ve already demonstrated. Let’s look at that roster - not that weird. Except, of course, not having a Purple Fury. Guess he just accumulated all those 141s in season 2 and never bothered in season 1 to join a top 100 alliance. Weird again.
THEKID
Who the hell is this guy? Quite the roster. And yet somehow he’s racked up 1190 points, and that’s with a Hood at level 34 and not cover-capped.
This thread is purely baseless speculation based on weird feelings. And that’s the problem. Half of the X-Men stink like fish and give off the heebie jeebies when you look at them. And you know who else gave off those feelings? Gbr33. Jimbojim. Watercat. It’s a pattern that has held true throughout this game.